i lock myself in my now empty apartment all day, yesterday, wearing nothing but my emerald scarf wrapped around my body,

(you ain't a fairy you're just a bitch).

rob and sean bang repeatedly, on my door, at certain moments of the afternoon. i do not answer.  i do not venture outside.  not that i don't want fresh air, but i know they'll hear the swing of my door, the click of the latch, will pounce immediately.  

i wonder just how deep my faith runs.  i wonder just who is writing this.  i wonder just why.  i wonder just where.   i wonder just why.  i wonder just why.  i wonder just why.  

your legs aren't the only ones marked up.  how many dreams have you chased?

(sam and i, in an elevator.  

"haven't i told you?"  i'm giggling "my roommates and i have this thing, right, we asked people, who would you rather sleep with, someone without arms or someone without legs?"

sam laughs, god, i don't know, arms probably.

i mean, i add, i probably wouldn't sleep with someone without limbs, in general.

he blushes, i'd sleep with you, even if you didn't have arms.)

i'm leaving boulder, on saturday.  driving straight home.