snap.

"i stayed in business for over fifty years.  its not what i would have imagined for myself.  and yet.  the truth is i came to like it.  i helped in those who were locked out, others i helped keep out what couldn't be let in, so that they could sleep without nightmares.

then one day i was looking out the window.  maybe i was contemplating the sky.  put even a fool in front of a window and you'll get a spinoza.  the afternoon passed, darkness sifted down.  i reached for the chain on the bulb and suddenly it was as if an elephant had stepped on my heart.  i fell to my knees.  i thought; i didnt live forever.  a minute passed.  another minute.  another.  i clawed at the floor, pulling myself along toward the phone.

twenty-five percent of my heart muscle died.  it took time to recover, and i never went back to work."